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happy?

Ok I am all random (and drunk) today, hence this being the third post toady, but whatever, lol....   this time it is a poem, a drunk one, but a poem nonetheless...


Mary sung about wanting to be happy
and that's what I want to be too
i think
But I haven't figured out
what happy really means
so i am going to start at content
and see where that takes me
wish me luck

you think?

I was sitting thinking.  Well, actually that is probably the problem, I am always sitting and overthinking. In fact I am doing it now by not getting to the point of my post.  I know, I am special, but you love it.  Lately I have been stifled in my writing because of aforementioned overthinking.  First off, I have been dealing with a lot of internal, well shit internal too, turmoil.  I start to write about it, but then stop because I second guess it and sit and wonder who wants to hear/read another sad poem .  Anyway, the point is I feel like I am channeling Eric Roberson's song, "Pen Just Cries Away," where he sings:

I tried not to write a song so sad
When you gave all you had and it still goes bad
It's seems the pain just shows up on the, on the pad
As the pen just cries away

Well I decided after thinking, rethinking, and overthinking some more that it is okay to let my pen cry away.  That's the point.

heavy...

I actually had a great Christmas, one of the better ones in recent memory.  However, there was one thing that bothered me to no end.  Both sides of my family are ridiculously critical of weight.  Every single time I see them there are 50-leven (yeah, I said 50-leven) comments about whether I have gained or lost weight.  Sometimes the comments go as extreme as: "You used to have a lovely figure, what happened."  I would like to know what makes people think this is an okay thing to say.  I am not perfect, but I know for a fact that my lips have never fixed themselves to even say anything remotely like this to anyone.  I am truly perplexed.  In this body obsessed culture we live in I don't need further pressure from my loved ones.  I stayed quiet to keep peace, but best believe my side-eye was at full attention. Anyone else experience this?  What is your response, if any, to people when they say things like that? 

dream on...

I was on facebook a couple days ago and posted the following:

So a few minutes later my friend Anika says: "lets see what we can come up with. you give me 1 line of anything and i'll get you 1 line of something...lol- we shall see what we produce"


And this is what transpired... in fact a couple of other folks got in on the act:


Alise:
i am a hopeless romantic
emphasis on hopeless
and i must admit...
i am in love with love...

Anika:

I must admit that the love i have is hopelessly waiting and impatient to the art of romanticism
im all by my lonesome...

I crave just a hello dear in the morning
look for good night honey before i drift into dream about the ONE..

Alise:

it can be rough when the love of your dreams
is just that...
only in your dreams
sleepwalking down the aisle of frustration..

Anika:

The frustration that the ringing bells alarm me
I’m awakened will the realization that happily ever after is but a mere product of my imagination
Matrimony seems make-believe
I’ve groomed myself to believe that I can wait, but I’m blue
There nothing new about me …I’m borrowed goods... ... See More

Tiha (YAY, my partner in (c)rhyme) :

frustration leading to daydreams of a love so perfect and true
in my dreams I love a perfect imitation of you
so I rush to bed at night to meet you once again
my perfect love I pledge undying devotion,
until I awake again

Alise:

a glimmer of hope as I hit the snooze button
but every 15 minutes loneliness returns...

Anika:

The lullaby of just being in love has me loose
When did lonely meets lonesome?
I’m at loss for words
Weary every time I doze off to a dozen countless doubts

My slumber is restless and I resent that fact that I’m sleepless and slept on…

King Shakur:

My mama told me I Beta shop around

that was in my teenage years and I am still afraid to settle down

yes I love u but my dreams I must chase, not realizing the pain I cause until I see those tears flowing down your face

Tiha:

and even those tears cant put out the flames
of my desire to have what I've never seen
to feel what I've never touched
to believe in what may never be real
but I just cant settle for less than what my heart wants to be true...

Alise:

hoping a brighter reality will rise from the ashes of that doused passion
and fly towards my heart's desire.
a girl can dream.

It was mad fun, and it got my creative juices back to flowing...  Tell us what you think...

poetic melodies: kindred...

I love Kindred the Family Soul...  The love that emanates from this husband & wife team is so beautiful.  It is the type of love I dream to have forever.  How beautful is it that you share the same passion and do it together? I wish they weren't so slept on, because they are a positive example of Black love and even outside of that it is just great music.   They make you just want to go fall in love and stay that way...   Here are my faves:





This is actually one of my favorite songs period... that's the kind of love I want in my life...







If someone told me that the stars looked up at me, I think I would just melt...







...and no matter how many hats you wear it's nice to hear sometimes that first and foremost you are a beautiful woman...


and thinking of Kindred reminded me of a poem I wrote a while back:

You have Alise in Wonderland once again



Evoking Cheshire cat grins


With embraces that cover a multitude of sins


Holding me tight ..... skin to skin


Where do I end ?


....and where do you begin?


Feeling like kissing cousins because our souls must be kin…


Dre(a)d…. ing this moment’s end


Wondering how you stole my heart with a pen…???

heart...

what is poetry to me?

funny you should ask...

these words are my pacemaker
sending poetic currents
to pump this inspiraiton
through all of me
to sustain
life.

poetic melodies...

old poem of mine that I think fits:


You have finally faced the music
Cut through the overproduction,
Pushed through the synthesized keys and unlocked your destiny
Swam against the tide of superfluous watered down beats
Escaped the trap of snares...


Came up and breathed in the pure air of lyrics.


Unearthed what lies beneath and between the lines.
Found the treasures of knowledge in each syllable.....

I am trying to get back into the rhythm of writing in general. I think every week I will do some sort of music post about musicians that I see as poets, sometimes more, not putting myself on any sort of schedule, but I just want to expand myself creatively. Enjoy…

Everyone who knows or semi-knows me, knows that I am a ridiculous, hardcore Erykah Badu fan/Stan. The funny thing is I don’t think she is the best vocalist and honestly sometimes I don’t know what the hell she is talking about. However, I love her because you can tell everything that comes out of her mouth is true emotion… she means it.

I think of her how I think of a lot of spoken word poets. I find that many spoken word artists are very Beyonce-ish, that meaning they have lovely voices, entertaining shows, and a glossy exterior, but when you listen they are not offering nothing to stimulate the mind, they throw around tired clichés and repetitive filler.

Then there are those artists who step on stage and Badu-ize the crowd. Those are the ones who come to the stage wearing what they wore all day with bags under their eyes, but by the time they leave the stage they leave your soul overfilled and salivating for more, leaving your inspiration gluttonous. Those that deliver any art form from the inside out, instead of the other way around are the best in my book.




Here are 3 of my favorite Badu performances where she really exhibits that soul-filled performance that makes me love her:





“Ye Yo”


I think this is my favorite Erykah Badu song ever. Though it does not have many lyrics, the ones it does have are so powerful. This song talks about the connection of mother and child. My favorite lyric being:

“Well see the suns in the east and the moon reflects
Like the knowledge and wisdom I manifest
If you wanna go to heaven lay upon my breast”

Beautiful. (The song makes me sad though because my relationship with my mom right now isn’t great… sigh…)












“Green Eyes”


Another favorite of mine is “Green Eyes”, from the Mama’s Gun CD. Not for the catchy intro of the song, but for the pure, raw emotion of the 2nd and 3rd part. I always view this song as 3 songs, the first part playfully poking fun at oneself for what seems to be just innocent jealousy. However, the next part of the song takes a journey into the deep feelings of jealousy, resentment and insecurity. I think often many people forget about the layers in Badu’s songs. She can take the most playful or seemingly benign concept and show the anatomy of it, not only through the lyrics but through the inflection and tones in her voice. This is definitely a song that displays that.









"I Want You"


Another Badu favorite of mine is “I Want You” from Worldwide Underground. Once again, this is a relatively simple song, but it expresses the depth of love/attraction she feels for her mate, one of my favorite lines is

“got a good book and got all in it
tried a little yoga for a minute
but it won’t let go”

I definitely know that feeling, where you are so enamored with someone (or thing) that you can’t concentrate on anything because the thoughts are so consuming. I know you’ve been there before!






These are just a few of my favorites….. What are your Badu faves?


***Actually I think I will carry this post over to my other blog and make this week a music series***

true...

what is true love?
i mean past all the colorful, flowery tired metaphors
past the idyllic fantasies we gas ourselves with...
well true love
in finding peace in your road rage
finding pleasant melodies in your awkward silences
making your snores into a soothing rhythym i can't sleep without
finding closess when you get distance
turning your mood swings into poetry's playgound
making your bad days into poems of hope... because we know things have no way to go but up...


(just something i am working on... just a fragment...)