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happy?

Ok I am all random (and drunk) today, hence this being the third post toady, but whatever, lol....   this time it is a poem, a drunk one, but a poem nonetheless...


Mary sung about wanting to be happy
and that's what I want to be too
i think
But I haven't figured out
what happy really means
so i am going to start at content
and see where that takes me
wish me luck

you think?

I was sitting thinking.  Well, actually that is probably the problem, I am always sitting and overthinking. In fact I am doing it now by not getting to the point of my post.  I know, I am special, but you love it.  Lately I have been stifled in my writing because of aforementioned overthinking.  First off, I have been dealing with a lot of internal, well shit internal too, turmoil.  I start to write about it, but then stop because I second guess it and sit and wonder who wants to hear/read another sad poem .  Anyway, the point is I feel like I am channeling Eric Roberson's song, "Pen Just Cries Away," where he sings:

I tried not to write a song so sad
When you gave all you had and it still goes bad
It's seems the pain just shows up on the, on the pad
As the pen just cries away

Well I decided after thinking, rethinking, and overthinking some more that it is okay to let my pen cry away.  That's the point.

heavy...

I actually had a great Christmas, one of the better ones in recent memory.  However, there was one thing that bothered me to no end.  Both sides of my family are ridiculously critical of weight.  Every single time I see them there are 50-leven (yeah, I said 50-leven) comments about whether I have gained or lost weight.  Sometimes the comments go as extreme as: "You used to have a lovely figure, what happened."  I would like to know what makes people think this is an okay thing to say.  I am not perfect, but I know for a fact that my lips have never fixed themselves to even say anything remotely like this to anyone.  I am truly perplexed.  In this body obsessed culture we live in I don't need further pressure from my loved ones.  I stayed quiet to keep peace, but best believe my side-eye was at full attention. Anyone else experience this?  What is your response, if any, to people when they say things like that? 

dream on...

I was on facebook a couple days ago and posted the following:

So a few minutes later my friend Anika says: "lets see what we can come up with. you give me 1 line of anything and i'll get you 1 line of something...lol- we shall see what we produce"


And this is what transpired... in fact a couple of other folks got in on the act:


Alise:
i am a hopeless romantic
emphasis on hopeless
and i must admit...
i am in love with love...

Anika:

I must admit that the love i have is hopelessly waiting and impatient to the art of romanticism
im all by my lonesome...

I crave just a hello dear in the morning
look for good night honey before i drift into dream about the ONE..

Alise:

it can be rough when the love of your dreams
is just that...
only in your dreams
sleepwalking down the aisle of frustration..

Anika:

The frustration that the ringing bells alarm me
I’m awakened will the realization that happily ever after is but a mere product of my imagination
Matrimony seems make-believe
I’ve groomed myself to believe that I can wait, but I’m blue
There nothing new about me …I’m borrowed goods... ... See More

Tiha (YAY, my partner in (c)rhyme) :

frustration leading to daydreams of a love so perfect and true
in my dreams I love a perfect imitation of you
so I rush to bed at night to meet you once again
my perfect love I pledge undying devotion,
until I awake again

Alise:

a glimmer of hope as I hit the snooze button
but every 15 minutes loneliness returns...

Anika:

The lullaby of just being in love has me loose
When did lonely meets lonesome?
I’m at loss for words
Weary every time I doze off to a dozen countless doubts

My slumber is restless and I resent that fact that I’m sleepless and slept on…

King Shakur:

My mama told me I Beta shop around

that was in my teenage years and I am still afraid to settle down

yes I love u but my dreams I must chase, not realizing the pain I cause until I see those tears flowing down your face

Tiha:

and even those tears cant put out the flames
of my desire to have what I've never seen
to feel what I've never touched
to believe in what may never be real
but I just cant settle for less than what my heart wants to be true...

Alise:

hoping a brighter reality will rise from the ashes of that doused passion
and fly towards my heart's desire.
a girl can dream.

It was mad fun, and it got my creative juices back to flowing...  Tell us what you think...

poetic melodies: kindred...

I love Kindred the Family Soul...  The love that emanates from this husband & wife team is so beautiful.  It is the type of love I dream to have forever.  How beautful is it that you share the same passion and do it together? I wish they weren't so slept on, because they are a positive example of Black love and even outside of that it is just great music.   They make you just want to go fall in love and stay that way...   Here are my faves:





This is actually one of my favorite songs period... that's the kind of love I want in my life...







If someone told me that the stars looked up at me, I think I would just melt...







...and no matter how many hats you wear it's nice to hear sometimes that first and foremost you are a beautiful woman...


and thinking of Kindred reminded me of a poem I wrote a while back:

You have Alise in Wonderland once again



Evoking Cheshire cat grins


With embraces that cover a multitude of sins


Holding me tight ..... skin to skin


Where do I end ?


....and where do you begin?


Feeling like kissing cousins because our souls must be kin…


Dre(a)d…. ing this moment’s end


Wondering how you stole my heart with a pen…???

heart...

what is poetry to me?

funny you should ask...

these words are my pacemaker
sending poetic currents
to pump this inspiraiton
through all of me
to sustain
life.

poetic melodies...

old poem of mine that I think fits:


You have finally faced the music
Cut through the overproduction,
Pushed through the synthesized keys and unlocked your destiny
Swam against the tide of superfluous watered down beats
Escaped the trap of snares...


Came up and breathed in the pure air of lyrics.


Unearthed what lies beneath and between the lines.
Found the treasures of knowledge in each syllable.....

I am trying to get back into the rhythm of writing in general. I think every week I will do some sort of music post about musicians that I see as poets, sometimes more, not putting myself on any sort of schedule, but I just want to expand myself creatively. Enjoy…

Everyone who knows or semi-knows me, knows that I am a ridiculous, hardcore Erykah Badu fan/Stan. The funny thing is I don’t think she is the best vocalist and honestly sometimes I don’t know what the hell she is talking about. However, I love her because you can tell everything that comes out of her mouth is true emotion… she means it.

I think of her how I think of a lot of spoken word poets. I find that many spoken word artists are very Beyonce-ish, that meaning they have lovely voices, entertaining shows, and a glossy exterior, but when you listen they are not offering nothing to stimulate the mind, they throw around tired clichés and repetitive filler.

Then there are those artists who step on stage and Badu-ize the crowd. Those are the ones who come to the stage wearing what they wore all day with bags under their eyes, but by the time they leave the stage they leave your soul overfilled and salivating for more, leaving your inspiration gluttonous. Those that deliver any art form from the inside out, instead of the other way around are the best in my book.




Here are 3 of my favorite Badu performances where she really exhibits that soul-filled performance that makes me love her:





“Ye Yo”


I think this is my favorite Erykah Badu song ever. Though it does not have many lyrics, the ones it does have are so powerful. This song talks about the connection of mother and child. My favorite lyric being:

“Well see the suns in the east and the moon reflects
Like the knowledge and wisdom I manifest
If you wanna go to heaven lay upon my breast”

Beautiful. (The song makes me sad though because my relationship with my mom right now isn’t great… sigh…)












“Green Eyes”


Another favorite of mine is “Green Eyes”, from the Mama’s Gun CD. Not for the catchy intro of the song, but for the pure, raw emotion of the 2nd and 3rd part. I always view this song as 3 songs, the first part playfully poking fun at oneself for what seems to be just innocent jealousy. However, the next part of the song takes a journey into the deep feelings of jealousy, resentment and insecurity. I think often many people forget about the layers in Badu’s songs. She can take the most playful or seemingly benign concept and show the anatomy of it, not only through the lyrics but through the inflection and tones in her voice. This is definitely a song that displays that.









"I Want You"


Another Badu favorite of mine is “I Want You” from Worldwide Underground. Once again, this is a relatively simple song, but it expresses the depth of love/attraction she feels for her mate, one of my favorite lines is

“got a good book and got all in it
tried a little yoga for a minute
but it won’t let go”

I definitely know that feeling, where you are so enamored with someone (or thing) that you can’t concentrate on anything because the thoughts are so consuming. I know you’ve been there before!






These are just a few of my favorites….. What are your Badu faves?


***Actually I think I will carry this post over to my other blog and make this week a music series***

true...

what is true love?
i mean past all the colorful, flowery tired metaphors
past the idyllic fantasies we gas ourselves with...
well true love
in finding peace in your road rage
finding pleasant melodies in your awkward silences
making your snores into a soothing rhythym i can't sleep without
finding closess when you get distance
turning your mood swings into poetry's playgound
making your bad days into poems of hope... because we know things have no way to go but up...


(just something i am working on... just a fragment...)

jellyfish...

Sometimes I envy jellyfish




No one ever tells them to grow a backbone




And if someone did, they’d sting the shit out of ya




So much for that backbone theory




So don’t tell me to toughen up, because my actions may be the same…

thanks...

a little haiku for thanksgiving...


thank you poetry
without you in my corner
i would surely fail

look at me...

As y'all know, I love me some haiku.  I was reading some old posts over at my other blog and found one that I wrote that I forgot about.  I felt it was appopriate since I had my Erotic Poetry Feature last night, I will also post some pics from the night! (It went very well by the way!)

Someone look at me



I am easy on the eyes


Please behold my sight

awkward silence...

You are most articulate in your silence

You said more in those thoughful gentle smiles
Than with your jubilant reports
But you wrote dissertations of despiar

With your saddened, worried eyes

And your furrowed brow and scowl of disgust

that day...

sigh, that day.

Crashed on my shore of shame harder than any of those words

those words...

sigh, those words.

a silent high tide I'd like to think.

That day...

sigh, that day.

I thought your medusa gaze would surely turn your thoughts to stone

Aimed at me to make me guilt's martyr

Those silences were awkward...

but appropriate.

And I wish my silence could respond with sincere apologies

If only my eyes could let you know

How much I need you,

How much I want to make it up to you,

How much I love you....
But.... I am most aritculate in my poetry
So this is for you.

home...

I just posted this at Yesterday's Poem, on her 10 Minute Prompt.  Check it out, especially since I have been slack with the Blog Poetry Slams....

Might not make a lot of sense to y'all,

But is so real in my head...

Tomorrow it might not make any sense...

...and that's ok...

But,


Home is...


A complicated place


Where staying


Is the best


And worst


Thing to do.


And those two cancel each other out


So that makes me indifferent


So maybe I should


Leave.

book-love...

I find television to be very educating.  Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.  ~Groucho Marx

I have been reading a lot lately.  When I say a lot I mean I have read a new book every couple days, sometimes more on the weekends.  My appetite has been voracious.    It is amazing what no television can do for your life....you should really try it by getting rid of your TV or detoxing for an extended period of time, real talk...)

A good book should leave you... slightly exhausted at the end.  You live several lives while reading it.  ~William Styron, interview, Writers at Work, 1958

I have become so emotionally invested in the books I have been reading lately.  Even dreamed about some of them, and act like a crack fiend needing to get back to them. (i.e. the 1000+ page book I read in 2 nights).  I get sad when I am get to the last 100 pages of a book.  I am not being figurative, I really do get to feeling some kinda way.  4 of the books I read this month made me actually cry.

If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.  ~Toni Morrison

 A few of the books I read have disappointed me with their endings.  Either the endings were far fetched, or the author left no sort of conclusion that satisfied me.  This realization has kick started me to wanting to improve my writing, and be the author that writes books the way that I want to read them.  

A book must be an ice-axe to break the seas frozen inside our soul.  ~Franz Kafka

Reading so many books has also made me want to write more.  I have been pumping out poems left and right, usually inspired from a  line or a scene in what I am reading.  I haven't posted a lot of stuff because for the first time in my poetry career I have been writing performance pieces (that don't necessarily translate well to the page) with ease.  My new focus on literature and art has made me a better performer, a better listener,just better...

A house without books is like a room without windows.  ~Heinrich Mann

 

Here are some of the books I have read over the last month or so... if you are my friend on facebook, check out my Visual Bookshelf:

Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books, Azar Nafisi (a must-read for book and history lovers!)

The Hour I First Believed: A Novel, Wally Lamb(read this thick monster of a book in 2 days, such a page turner... this is one of the books that made me cry...)

Eyes to My Soul: The Rise or Decline of a Black FBI Agent, Tyrone Powers (this book made me want to fight the power!)

The Book of Sarahs: A Family in Parts,Catherine E. McKinley

The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green : A Novel, Joshua Braff

Trading Dreams at Midnight: A Novel, Diane McKinney-Whetstone

Nina: Adolescence, Amy Hassinger

Currently Reading: Apprentice to the Flower Poet Z.: A Novel, Debra Weinstein

Currently Re-reading: Racism 101, Nikki Giovanni

I am also open to any suggestions you might have of some good reads, leave them in the comments if you do!

Peace y'all....

Quick Tip: Thrift Stores are my best friend, you can't beat $0.25-0.50 for books (I don't like library books, I like to own my books, because I am also a re-reader)

wondering...

don't mind me, just lost in my thoughts:




I do  sometimes wonder
does my forehead read: "hurt me"
it would explain a lot
in fact
it would explain
everything.

rainy days....

alise + cold + rain + wind = fail... it is a yucky rainy day and this is my ode to it:

cold rain
tear hider
joie de vivre murderer
gloom accellerant
depression's hideout
elation's extinguisher
until...
you come home to cuddle me...

blind...

 

 

 

If love is blind
then let my curves be your Braille
and feel this situation out...

you have a lot of reading to catch up on

constellation...

a little something I am working on for my Erotic Spokenword feature coming up on November 23rd, tell me what ya think... peace y'all...


constellation...
Star crossed lovers we are
some might say
But they don't know the half
or even the fourth
about the coital constellation created by our cosmic connection


I didn't believe in black holes
until you.
the gravitational pull of your strokes of genius... in our bedroom
to where the only light that escapes is in my eyes
...oh yeah and moans...
(we break the rules, stars can do that...)

Leaving my head clouded
I like to think I'm your sweet nebula
the beginnings of new orgasmic galaxies
Thrusting planetary goodness into the universe
creating new orbits to try


Who needs fireworks?
When you’ve got me busting supernovas
And I release shooting stars
To ingest into your galaxy
It’s quite a show…
And you all can watch,
But I suggest you bring your shades


You are the only one I know who can touch a star
And not only live to tell it
But come alive because of it
The heat of my shine didn’t burn you
But energized you
Gave you the power to please me….
So when you see that twinkle in my eye, just remember I’m a star…

-Naturally Alise 2009

just because...

this song makes me feel all warm inside...

Blog Poetry Slam 36: Erotic Haiku

I have been MIA... I'm sorry.  Life and school have just been happening and I have been running to keep up.  So, right now I am working on an Erotic Spoken Word feature I have coming up in November.  I have been struggling with writing for it, so I will warm up my erotic side by writing some erotic haiku.  Why don't y'all join me?  So, write an erotic (or romantic) haiku in the comments and help inspire me so I can represent nicely for my feature.  Thanks in advance my lovely poets!

melting and dripping

when you light me on both ends

no candles needed

your turn...

pain...

(a continuation of sorts to a piece I wrote called pressure)

pain
is a funny thing
but not ha ha
it makes it harder to create
and easier to be destroyed
but i won't allow the latter
because this is far beyond
a laughing matter
it is my life.
and i am worthy of creation.





(pray for me y'all... I joke around a lot, but I am so serious right now)

ever run out of words?

well i do...

enjoy:

I love words

Lust them even

But sometimes

And I must admit, most times

They’re not enough

Even for a poet

Because sometimes

The consonants ain’t hard enough

And the conjunctions

Just don’t

connect

I have seen places and things

That nouns don’t dare tread

Where verbs

Stop in their tracks

And adjectives can’t even…

Describe themselves

And expletives are unheard whispers

That tell my secrets

There is so much to say

And no way to convey it

No sentences

Except the one I serve now

In solitary confinement

And the only visits are where I conjugate a noun/verb disagreement

Where my mind are at a loss

Where I can’t even cast a spell

For S-O-R-R-Y … T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U… L-O-V-E

The magic’s gone

Where strokes of the metaphor wands

Still leave empty pages

With

No words.

Blog Poetry Slam 35: The Dark Side

Ok, my blog partner over at The Latte Mug is going to curse me out, but I don't care. I am featuring a poem by her as our Blog Poetry Slam for today that I jacked from her personal blog, Artistic or Just Plain Crazy. I could have asked her in advance, but my darkside didn't care. [insert evil laugh] I liked her piece because it explored the darker side of her. I would love for us to write pieces that are about that side of us we don't always expose, but is still there. So for today write about another side of you or something you would love to do that is a little evil or opposite of your everyday persona. As usual in the comments write a poem, it can be short, long, haiku, silly or serious. I am getting mine ready and I can't wait to see what you guys come up with.

The Darker Side Speaks

Hello world its me
the one she tries to keep quite
the one she confesses to at night
the one who knows how she really feels
I am that bitch who doesn’t care to be polite
and I’ve got something to say:

We don’t like you
she’s only being nice
we’ve never liked you
she trying to play the game right
but she’s gotten nothing for it
no prize, reward or relief
her inner thoughts have gotten morbid
from being nice and catching grief
so I’m here to say
what’s really on her mind
she cant stand your ignorant ass
and we wont give you anymore of our time
I feel better already
I think she does too
her thoughts aren’t so heavy
I even see a smile peaking through
I guess my job is done now
she wont let me speak for long
I’ll take my place in the back
until the next jackass comes along.

(c) Eysqueen 2009

Now it's your turn! Don't be shy!

...step into the arena

I wrote this about a week ago when I was going through my some kinda way and love analyzing... I thought I'd share if with you lovely people...

enjoy:

i have been to this arena before

where hearts and logic fight to the death

and conundrums are taking bets

and love is the only referee

but is too scared to call off the fight

and for once…

let the heart win by decision.

Enjoy a little Lenny and listen to the poetic lyrics:

lenny kravitz - let love rule
Uploaded by aquarius3. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Also, I am looking for guest poets to feature on the blog... you can share your work and advertise your events and/or books. Feel free to contact me anytime...

Blog Poetry Slam 34: Haiku!

I didn't do the blog poetry slam, I forgot. I suck. I know this. Don't judge me. :) However, I still want to do it. Lately I have been all angsty and emotional, so this week I want to do something a little more fun and uplifting. How's that sound? Today I think it would be fun to write happy and/or silly haiku. So come on by the comments and bless the world with your haiku prowess! I'll write a couple, and I will be patiently waiting for your lovely haiku in the comments... Don't be scared!... Happy Writing!


poetry is crack

the words just be calling me

i feel like Pookie

haiku cries...

don't know what to say

poet at a loss for words

i'll use tears instead

Blog Poetry Slam 33: Miracles

So today I am kind of out of it... but right now on my mind is on miracles... whether they be small everyday ones, miracles in relationships, miracles on a grand scale, just write about it... cheer me up, please....

Please write a poem to fit the theme in the comments... Your poems can be long, short or even a haiku! If you do not write poetry, then tell the poets you think of their pieces. Thanks for coming by and please cheer this sad, pitiful creature named Alise up by writing something special... Thanks in advance...



my eyes parted his soul like the Red Sea
a man of great faith
made way for thousands of enslaved emotions into his arms
a miracle
that is all mine
and i thank the most high...

i love you
and for me to prove it may take
... a miracle
but they do
...happen

(and i'm worth it)

pressure.

pressure is a funny thing
but not like ha ha
it can create
and destroy
but always changes
things.

(originally posted 12/14/08.... feeling it today, for realz....)

twitter inspiration...

Today on Twitter I asked for someone to give me a topic besides love to write about, my good pal @llrenae (http://twitter.com/llrenae) responded: "write about a life of broke-ness," so I did. Here it goes:

this poem will be short
similar to my cash flow...
money elusive
my status is conclusive: broke
broke pockets
plus bills
plus wants
equals a broken spirit
i always did hate word problems.

*Click here*

sampling...

...done right







Peace Y'all...

sampling...

done right...






...peace y'all

my faves...

Not only do I love to write and perform poetry, but I love even more reading and listening to other poets. I often make the mistake of comparing myself to these great artists. Then I snap out of it and realize that no two poets are alike and that it is not a competition. It is about the art. It is about learning. It is about expressing yourself from an honest place. It is about pushing through the conventional and finding your own voice. With all of that being said, I'd like to share some poems and performances that have touched me deeply, I present to you a few of my favorites:

Nikki Giovanni, "Choices"

if i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don't want
to do

it's not the same thing
but it's the best i can
do

if i can't have
what i want . . . then
my job is to want
what i've got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want

since i can't go
where i need
to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn't lateral

when i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal
i know
but that's why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry




Marc Marcel,"New Money"




Original Woman, "Why She Cries (Barbie)"




Alice Walker, "Gift"

You intend no doubt
to give me nothing,
and are not aware
the gift has already been
received.
Curse me then,
and take away
the spell.
For I am rich;
no cheap and ragged
beggar
but a queen,
to rouse the king
I need in you.


just a few that mean a lot to me... what are some of your favorite poems?

Look at me....

It's me! Check it out!

Blog Poetry Slam 32: School

*yeah that's me... OLD SCHOOL!*

Sorry I missed last week's poetry slam, guess what has me busy???? SCHOOL... so please give me a pass! So today's slam topic is school... Whether you want to write something about your favorite subject, your know about how your heart plus my heart equals a divine word problem (ooh, let me write that down) or about new school, old school, even a school of fish, whatever it is GO FOR IT! I wrote the beginning of a piece i am working on for this that I hope you like and I can't wait to see your poems in the comments following mine... Your poems can be long, short or even a haiku! If you do not write poetry, then tell the poets you think of their pieces. Good luck!

i hate science
so i need your help
with a few questions...
how is it that
when we're two-gether
i feel l-one-ly
what theory is that?
maybe Newton was right and our two hearts can't occupy the same place at the same time...


i'm not great at history
and it shows
i keep repeating it
you know:
civil wars of the soul
revolutions of resentment
famine of the heart...


but philosophy i know
and a guy once said
true wisdom
is realizing you know nothing
and with this love thing:
i feel wise as hell....

(just a rough draft by the way)

YOUR TURN!

(I have news about the giveaway winner coming tomorrow!)

boom...

i am not a supporting actress

i am not a backdrop

i am not a stage to be tread upon

i am not even the play

nor the playwright

but what i am

is...

i am the the late night idea

i am the eureka moment

i am the gray matter

i am the bundle of nerves

i am that neuron

in fact i am the atom

and when i split

... you better watch out.

why write?

i write...

because

my mouth is an impostor

my pride is a coward

my heart ain't loud enough

just like everyone else

they fail under pressure

only cooperate when things are sunny

and that is

bullshit

so i write...

open...

haiku:

when you're wide open

the good and bad can enter

i need a screen door

laughs...

Need a laugh or twelve? I promised some of my buddies on facebook that we are going to have a fabulous Thursday no matter what. I figure I will help us along that path with some laughs. Over at my other blog, The Latte Mug, that I co-host with my very dear friend Tiha we have been doing some interesting and silly Blog Series. Come by and check a few out:

• Left To Our Own Literary Devices
• Seuss Deez
• Under the Influence
• Life Lessons Learned
• Wu are You?

love and such...

This quote is speaking volumes to me this week:

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." ~Bertrand Russell

it inspired a short little something:

you worry
too much...
love is...
at (y)our door
just let it in
and see where it takes
u(s)...
if you're scared
say you're scared
but come along
anyway.

...something wonderful

this song is just.... just.... everything. talk about a little song summing up your whole mood and state of mind. Thanks Amel....