Don't even begin to try and judge me........

originally posted 9/17/06:

This is my ever evolving poem about who..... ME!..... Everyday I add to it, so I'll let y'all see the journey. I wrote this to let people know who I really am instead of immediately assuming they know me from a first impression, give a sista a chance,dannnnnnnnnnng..... So I hope you guys enjoy, like I said it ain't even done yet, but here it goes:

Judgement
I think I'm ready to let you see the real me,
Unedited, live in stereo, the shit I never wanted anyone to see
Far from a simple woman, but really not too complex,
I just try to live in the moment, who knows what's next,
So let me set the record straight
I am tired of being misunderstood......

You may think I am a slacker, bullshitter, regretter
I swear I want to be a go-getter,
Once i figure what I want to go get
I am sure there are great things to which I aspire
But constant indecision constantly puts out my fire
Past demons scare away the potential I hold,
I am holding a full house, but still I fold...
...and bend and hold back
But yet you judge me, not realizing I too am mourning bad decisions I can never get back.
You see my Boardwalk dreams get lost somewhere in this Baltic Ave. reality
But I always stop myself and realize I can't pass go with this mentality...

I know you want to know what lies behind this smile,
It's no front, but this countenance keeps me going in this world so vile.
There is therapy in my every grimace, smirk, and grin,
My silliness is complex, it is the patch when my happiness wears thin...
The comedy comes from pain,
Laughter stops my soul's rain.....
So know I am no clown here for your amusement,
In fact I'm your patient and you heal me with every chuckle spent...

I'm not a flirt and I will tell you why,
I prefer you call me a social butterfly,
I am not craving attention,
I just feed off of human connection.
It brings me joy to make someone feel they are the only person in the room,
But when I project that energy, people always assume...
That I have ulterior motives, tricks up my sleeve
But my world will not be ruled by what others perceive
I will not allow anyone to clip my free spirit's wings,
My voice will not be caged , it needs no one's permission to sing.